Pets are Like Children

Our pets are like children, they watch us and sometimes their brains don’t understand all the complexities about adults. When we are affectionate to our partner we may have sounds or actions that can sound or look like we are being hurt. We know this isn’t the case, but to a pet or a child, this can be very scary. They may be in protection mode or run and hide. If they can do that to him or her, what will happen to me? I’m so small, who’s going to protect me? Who can I trust? Best they are not placed in this situation when they are young or if a relationship is in the early stages. Pets get very confused about who they can trust, and this can then be projected to others who they thought they could trust. Assure them your partner is a good person by including them in quiet times, walks, throwing the ball and words – yes, they do understand your words. 

 You may not hear their responses like I do but be assured they understand your words and your kindness. You are all they have – be kind. 

For the Love of Animals, 

Frances

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

When couples decide to go their separate ways, they can talk it over – sometimes calmly, sometimes not – but what do the pets go through?  How do they know what is going on when their mom and dad go to different corners?  Why aren’t they together?  What did we do to cause this?  Pets (as well as young children) don’t understand the complexity of relationships, nor should they necessarily need to know all the details.  They just want to know “what about me”? 

I recently spoke with a client going through this very situation and she asked me to speak with her two dogs, Sarge and Little Man – two male greyhounds, 7 and 5 years old respectively.  Sarge is the strong stoic one who doesn’t show much emotion.  Little Man is the sensitive guy who shows his concerns very vocally.

Frances:  Mom and dad are not going to live together and mom will be living someplace else.  It’s nothing you two did to cause this, it is something that humans sometimes go through.  Does that make sense to you?

Sarge:  Yes, but what about us? 
Frances:  That’s what I want to talk to you each about individually ok?
Sarge:  Yeah, I guess so, but we will listen to each other too. 
Frances:  That is perfect.  So Little Man I want to start with you, ok?

Little Man:  Ok – but am I staying with dad or mom?
Frances:  Which would you like to stay with?
Little Man:  If I stay with mom, will I never see dad or if I stay with dad, will I never see mom? 
Frances:  You tell me what you would like, that’s why I am talking with you.
Little Man:  I love dad but I’m more close with mom – she understands me when I get scared and she knows how to comfort me.  I know dad loves me, but mom understands me more.  I don’t want to hurt dad’s feelings and I will miss Sarge, but I really want to be with mom.
Frances:  Thank you, Little Man, I know that is hard to say to me and I appreciate you telling me your feelings.  In case it happens where dad wants you to stay with him, will you be ok with that?
Little Man:  Yes, of course, I know he loves me and I love him too. 
Frances:  Would you want to visit with mom or dad depending on who you stay with?
Little Man:  I would as long as it isn’t hurtful to either one to see each other.
Frances:  Little Man, you are so considerate of their feelings – I’m so honored to be talking with you.  You are much more mature than many humans, do you know that?
Little Man:  Well, I never really thought about that, I just know being kind and loving is all I know, I’m very blessed. 
Frances:  Yes, you certainly are blessed with two loving people who care for you very much.  Anything you want to tell mom and dad?
Little Man: Please tell mom and dad I love them both very much and I’m sorry you are going through this situation.  I am grateful for you choosing me to be in your family and will always remember the good times.  Whatever happens I want you both to be happy and I will be happy with whatever you decide.
Frances:  Thank you, Little Man. Sarge it’s your turn.

Sarge:  Ok I’m ready, so you want to know what I want?
Frances:  Yes, please share what you would like.
Sarge:  I would like to stay with dad since we were together longer, I feel he is my person.  I understand Little Man wanting to be with mom, they really did bond from the beginning.  Dad will be ok with sharing him with mom – I think so anyway.  I’m sorry they have to go their separate ways, but whatever makes them happy.  Dad and I have been on our own before, so we’ll be fine.
Frances:  Would you be ok if Little Man stayed, and mom left?  Can you be the head of the household to protect everyone?
Sarge:   I do that now, no big deal here.  I love mom and all, but I realize things don’t always last forever – I just want them happy.  I want everyone to be happy.
Frances:  Thank you, Sarge.  Is there anything that mom can do to make it easier on you?
Sarge:  Mom is great – she is always thinking about others.  I would like her to take care of herself, eat better and let’s get out and walk more.  She has been so concerned about others, she forgets to ask what she wants, what would make her happy?
Frances:  Sarge, you are so caring and loving of your mom and dad – but especially mom – I think you are right on target with your suggestions to mom.  Anything you would like to say to mom and dad?
Sarge:  Thank you for the time we’ve had together.  I love you both and understand things happen in the human world that we don’t really understand, but you are both such good people.  I just want both of you to be happy and if going your separate ways does that, so be it.  I love and always will, regardless of who lives with who.  
Frances:  Thank you, Sarge for your kind words.  I will be talking with mom shortly and we can talk more then.  Bye for now.

Both:  Bye – thank you for talking with us. 
Frances:  You’re both very welcome.

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

 

Happy Valentine's Day!

With the changes in our work situation over the last two years, our pets have gotten pretty spoiled having us around 24/7.  Now that many are going back to work or school, the pets don’t understand why we aren’t there to be with them as much anymore.  They like all the attention, affection and let’s face it – snacks to keep them occupied while we tried our best to be productive on the computer, zooming with the boss, teaching a class.  They just seem to say: What about me? I’m here, I’m cute, I’m bored…. I’m, I’m, I’m.  Yes, very self-centered – it’s all about me.

I had a recent client session with her cat, Kizzy, who normally was just perfect with the litter box.  Suddenly she pooped on the home office Persian carpet – in front of her son, yes – not hiding it or sneaking in, nope, very deliberately.  And then it happened again – no accident, so what’s up with that?

Can you tell me why you pooped on the Persian carpet?
Ha – got their attention, didn’t I?  Nobody is around like they used to be, they just leave us here by ourselves.  Why can’t I go anyplace besides the vet?  Why are they leaving so much?

Ok, so you are feeling neglected, really?  You have clean litter boxes, good food, a roof over your head and this is how you are showing your appreciation?
Well, when you put it that way, I guess I am a bit harsh. 

Yes, ungrateful I would call it.  The world outside of your house has been going through a time when most people had to stay home.  That’s why your mom and dad were home most of the time.  Now the world is safer, and people can be out and about.  This is true for your mom and dad.  Dad is on a business trip and will return on Sunday – two times the sun goes down.  Mom has returned to her school schedule.  Does this make sense to you?
Yeah, I can see when they were here a lot – I really liked that.  I could be by there side all day long.  I miss that but I guess they didn’t want to do that as much as I did.

They love you to be by their side when they are there, but not whine about them not being there or poop on the rug.
Please tell them I’m sorry to upset them.  I guess I didn’t know how to tell them that I miss them being there as much as they had been. I know I can’t go places with them, I just love them so much and want them near me as much as possible.

Thank you, Kizzy – I will be talking with mom soon.
Thank you for talking with me.

You’re very welcome, Kizzy.

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

 

Happy 2022!

Happy New Year to you all.  I am so excited to greet 2022 with hope and optimism that it will be healthy, safe and prosperous for you and your furry, feathered and scaled friends. Last year brought a new reality of normal to many – including new pets that got used to mom and dad working from home.  For rescued pets who had a life before they came to live with you, they have their experiences, fears and expectations to overcome.  Abandonment is a very scary thing and now that many of us are working from home, they expect us to always be by our side – like 24/7 – or fear you are never coming back home.  This was part of a recent reading with Frankie.

Hi Frankie – how are you? 
I’m ok I guess why?

Mom asked if I would talk with you, is that ok?
I guess so, why? 

Do you know how much your mom loves you?
Well, I think I do but I get scared when I don’t see her.

That’s what I want to talk about.  Mom will always be there for you.  This is your forever home.  I understand you had a dad but he’s not there anymore.  This had nothing to do with you.  Sometimes humans stay together and sometimes they don’t.  It’s a human thing.  But you will always stay with mom.
 Are you sure? 

Yes, Frankie I am sure – she loves you very much – that’s why we are talking.  I will talk to mom on how to tell you when she leaves where she is going and when she’ll be back.  She will always be back but sometimes she may go for a few days.  Humans need to do that sometimes.  But you will always be cared for and have food in your tummy.  Does that make sense?
 I am afraid she won’t come back. Thank you for explaining it to me.  My last family just packed up and left and I was on the streets looking for them.  I didn’t understand how they could just leave me.

I’m sorry that happened to you.  Sometimes humans have things happen in their lives and they may not think of all the details.  I’m sure they didn’t mean to forget about you but may have been struggling in their lives.  Your mom now has a wonderful extended family who love animals like you and would never let anything bad ever happen to you.  I promise, they are very good people. 
Thank you, I was afraid I did something bad, so they didn’t want me anymore.  I was afraid I would do the same thing with mom, and she would get rid of me too. 

Is that why you whine in the car?
Yes, I’m afraid she’s going to drop me off someplace and not pick me up.

Mom will never do that to you.  I will talk to her about how to share with you where you are going so you don’t have to be anxious in the car.  It can be a fun adventure instead.  Seeing new places and new people.  Just know that you can’t go everywhere with mom.  Dogs aren’t allowed everywhere, and mom needs to be able to go out and have fun with her friends, right?
Yeah, I guess you’re right.  I was so afraid she didn’t want me or wouldn’t come home to me.  Now I know she will, but I need to know all the details, so I won’t worry so much. 

Yes, Frankie, I will explain to mom how to tell you all the details you need to know.  Some things are human things and won’t make sense, but you will know what you need to know – each and every time she leaves the house, ok? 
Thank you, oh that makes me feel better already.  I can relax more and play more.  I was almost afraid to play in case I did something wrong, I love mom so much, I don’t want her to be mad at me.

You don’t have to be afraid of mom getting mad, no matter what you may think you did wrong, mom will always be there for you and love you. Anything you want to tell mom?
Thank you so much for bringing me to your home.  I love you so much and was afraid you would leave or take me someplace to drop me off and not come back.  I can relax now and open my heart fully.  I was holding back just in case you didn’t love me like I love you.  Now I can love you even more!

You are so sweet, Frankie, yes now you can love even more with no fears at all to hold you back.  I’ll be talking with mom shortly and we’ll talk more, ok? 
Ok, thank you for talking with me.

You are very welcome, Frankie – my pleasure.  Bye for now. 
Bye.

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

 

Happy Paw-lidays!

 Wishing you a Paws-itively Perfect

Holiday & New Year

 

Rescued pets have a special place in my heart.  They are sometimes fostered in various homes or taken from a home for unforeseen reasons.  They aren’t included in the details of what happened and why they are no longer staying in this home, with this mom or dad.  They react as scared beings as though they are just expected to pick up their life where they left off – but they have fears and feelings like we do.  Consider the understanding at the child-like level where they are unsure of their surroundings or the people who are now in their life.  All the love in the world can’t help or fix their fears – that’s where I come in and explain and answer their questions.  I hope I can help your rescued pet one day. 

Here’s a bit of Rudy’s story:

Rudy is an 8-year-old Tibetan Spaniel who was surrendered to the shelter with no history.  He was adopted 3 months ago by his new family and is very timid and hides in the closet when he is afraid.  They love him very much and want him to be happy.  Here is a portion of our conversation, and a bit of a revelation of his past.

Hi Rudy – how are you?
I guess I’m ok why? 

Your family asked if I would talk with you, is that ok?
I guess so but who’s my family?

The nice people who you are living with, who feed you and pet you and love you.
So, am I staying here? 

Yes, honey this is your forever home.  This family loves you and will take care of you forever.  Does that make sense? 
I suppose so.  I wasn’t sure why I was here, but I do like them.  Sometimes things are a bit loud and so many different things going on.  I kind of wish it was quieter.  I like the quiet.  I get very scared with so many people moving around me. 

I will let them know so maybe being more aware of that can help you settle down and relax more. 
Thank you that would be helpful.

Do you miss your previous home?
Yes, very much.  My mom was an older lady who didn’t come home one day so I was taken away.   [I feel she was hospitalized and then passed away.]

I’m sorry that happened.  I’m sure she loved you very much, but life happens out of our control sometimes.  You now have a loving family to care for you and love you.  Are you ready to open your heart to them?
Yes, thank you for telling me that.  I guess I thought maybe I did something wrong, so she left me.  I was sad thinking if I did it again, they would abandon me too.  I’m feeling better now that you let me know I didn’t do anything wrong. 

Slowly but surely, you will get more comfortable with your new family and surroundings.  Allow them into your heart.  You can trust them.  They will not hurt you.
 Oh, I am so glad you talked with me.  I’m feeling better already. 

You’re very welcome, Rudy. Just take it one day at a time and ease into your new loving family. Ok?
Ok bye.

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

Reflections and Transitions

November for me is a time of reflection with life changes and transitions. My personal journey includes retiring from my day job, moving to the desert (actually Rancho Mirage) and reflecting on how happy I am in this beautiful community.  I am excited to continue working with you and your pets via telephone and Zoom.  Working from anywhere in the world is possible when I tune in telepathically – there are no miles or languages as barriers. Yes, even if I don’t speak the language of my human client, their pet and I are clearly communicating and if the human client has an interpreter, we’re good to go. 

I recently spoke with a 16-year-old cat, Luna, who had recently crossed over.  She had a beautiful message from the other side to her mom.

Hi Luna – I understand you are now on the other side, how are you doing?

Oh, I’m so glad mom contacted you.  I wanted to tell her all my thoughts when it first happened, but I knew she couldn’t hear me like you do.

I’m glad she did too – so what would you like to tell your mom? 

Please tell mom how much I love her and not to feel bad about how she found me.  I was not suffering as she perceives it – it was more frustrating knowing I couldn’t do anything for myself.  I wanted to go in my sleep but it just didn’t happen that way.  Many times I tried, but I kept waking up.  I was told it would happen when it was supposed to happen.  Mom has a new life now, she is ready to blossom into her own woman, much more sure of herself than ever before.  She has the strength and courage to do more than she ever thought she could.  She is now encouraged to be her whole self, to express herself, to be in the moment with her decisions.  I am very proud of her.  I am happy she has a man in her life, a new partner to share in her growth.  When she met him and introduced me, I knew this was the beginning for her and it was my time to step away.  These are transitions in our lives that we bring in new energy and let go of the older energy.  Not good versus bad – not at all but recognizing what is a good match in this phase of our life.  She needs to let go of concerns on what she could or should have done differently for me or her own decisions for herself.  Take each day as a new choice, a new adventure, a new way to look at life.  It was my time to release my body and nobody could have prevented that release. She was the best mom, companion, caretaker and snuggler I could have ever asked for.  I love her very much – to the moon and back.  We will always be connected by our love for each other – that will always stay in our heart and soul. Please let her know she can talk to me anytime – she is not holding me back as I can energetically be in a multitude of places at once.

This message can be an encouragement for all of us – read it again to see what resonates with you.

For the Love of Animals,

Frances

 

Animal Communication Tips

 

I love working with clients that are new to the idea of animal communication.  Sometimes the response is they just want to know if they are “happy”.  I believe our pets are more than one-dimensional; they have wants and needs, fears and joy, they have preferences and desires.  Are they “happy”?  All they really want is love, food, and a safe place to put their head at night.  Are you giving them this? Then yes, of course, they are going to tell me they are “happy”.

When speaking with the animals it is helpful if you have specific questions. Is your pet a rescue? What was their life like before they came to you?  Sometimes this brings answers to curious questions and sometimes it can be very eye-opening to understand why they do certain things.  One client had a dog who wouldn’t join her and her husband on their bed at night.  The closest he would come to that was laying on the chair near the bed.  I asked their dog why and he said he was reprimanded so badly from his previous owner that he was afraid of that happening again.  I assured him that would never happen again with this family – they welcome him to join them.  He was hesitant but was assured he was safe in his new forever home.

Has anything changed in their surroundings in the past few months?  Are you now going back to your office, no longer working from home?  Many people adopted pets during the pandemic, only to realize their pet has never seen them leave their house for extended periods of time.  As a rescue, the fear of abandonment is real.  Where are you going?  How long are you going to be gone?  Why can’t I go with you?  Consider their feelings and questions in their minds. Just like as if you were leaving your child for the day – they want to know that you are coming back, and when you are coming back. 

Just some ideas to prompt questions for you and how I can best help you and your pet.  I welcome your questions and so do your pets.

For the Love of Animals,
Frances