New Kid in Town 🐱🐈‍⬛

 

I recently had a session for a client with two cats.  This is how it went. 

Frances:  Hi Sally – how are you?
Sally:  I’m ok, why?
Frances:  Your mom asked me if I would talk with you, is that ok?  
Sally:  Yeah, I guess so, what about?  
Frances:  Do you like your new family?  I understand you have been there for about a year.
Sally:  It’s ok, but why did that other cat have to come too?
Frances:  Missy needed a home just like you did.  She is now your sister, why can’t you be nice to her?
Sally:  Why should I be nice to her?  She’ll take all my food.  
Frances:  There will always be enough food for you and Missy.  Your mom will always ensure you are both taken care of with a roof over your head and food in your tummies.  Do you know that you are loved, and this is your forever home?  
Sally:  What do you mean by “forever home”?  I’ve never been in one home for very long at all.  I’d get in a fight and that was it, I was moved to another place, then another, then another.  I don’t trust anyone anymore and that’s a fact.
Frances:  I’m sorry you haven’t had the kind of life you deserve.  But you do know if you’ll allow your mom to love you like you deserve to be loved you have it now.  A forever home is where you will stay for the rest of your life.  You will have the same home with your mom and sister named Missy.  This is your forever family, and it is there for you to open your heart and love and be loved.  Does that make sense? 
Sally:  I think so but how can I believe you?
Frances:  Just give it time.  You don’t have to take my words only, just allow each day to unfold with the knowing that you are loved, you have plenty of food in your tummy, and a roof over your head for your safety.  Can you do that?  
Sally:  I suppose I can try.  
Frances:  Good for you, that’s taking a positive step forward.  One step at a time, right?
Sally:  Yeah, ok – I see what you’re doing here.  I know I’ve put up a good wall to protect myself, I’ve had to.  Nobody did anything for me just because they wanted to.  I always felt like a burden, and they let me know it.  I liked being outside because then I didn’t have to deal with the people and their problems.  They yelled and screamed all the time at each other, and I just got in the way.  I do have to say my life here is nothing like that and I really do appreciate all that I am given, really, I do.  I was afraid it would be a repeat of the past and I would be moving on to another place, so I didn’t want to get my hopes up and open my heart just to get broken again, so I stopped trying.  I see that it is different this time and now that you mention it, I do feel I can relax more and allow the love they have to offer to sink in.  Yeah, even with Missy, I think I can do that too.  Thank you for talking with me, I do appreciate your words very much.
Frances:  Thank you, Sally.

 

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

Who's the Boss?

 

Marvin is a 6-year-old Goldendoodle with a very strong sense of self-importance and awareness.

When asked if he would like a dog brother or sister to join his family, he replied,

Marvin:  Hmmm, like a playmate that lives here? 
 
Frances:  It could be a playmate. 

Marvin:  That would be ok if they knew I was the boss.  They have to listen to everything I say, and I eat first, and I play first, and all the toys are mine.

Frances:  Well, don’t you think that would be a bit unreasonable to ask?  Sharing your home and life with another dog is a privilege.  You make it sound like everything is me and mine.  When another dog joins your family, a family shares what they have.

Marvin:  Well, I don’t think I want one then.  I don’t like sharing my stuff.  Besides, then I won’t get all the attention.  

Frances:  Why do you put mom and dad’s socks on your favorite stuffed animals?

Marvin:  I like the scent of mom and dad around when they are not here.  I like to share them with my favorite stuffed friends. My stuffed friends don’t get the same kind of love I get from them.

So, he does think of others, just not in the way we might expect.

Marvin:  I want to go on more walks and adventures to see new places and people.  I like to see new people; they are friendly to me because I’m so cute and I like the attention.

Frances:  Well, you do have a healthy opinion of yourself, you’re definitely not a wallflower.

 

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

Tough Love

 

Jerry is a 3-year-old male domestic short hair black cat who started attacking his housemates, other cats: Boo-boo, Sparkle and Jody. His mom wanted to know what was going on with him.

Frances: Hi Jerry – how are you?
Jerry: I’m ok, why? Who wants to know?
Frances: Your mom, Mary asked me to talk with you, is that ok?
Jerry: Yeah, I suppose so. [Sounds like a tough guy.]
Frances: Why are you beating up on your housemates?
Jerry: Like who?
Frances: Boo-boo, Sparkle and Jody.
Jerry: Aw, they’re just pussies – they can’t stand up for themselves. I’m trying to toughen them up.
Frances: Why do they have to be toughened up?
Jerry: To get along in the real world they have to be
tough.
Frances: Jerry, your real world is your home with your loving family – they do not have to be tough, nor do you. All you need is to love; love is what your world is all about.
Jerry: That’s not what I see on the TV – it’s rough out there.
Frances:  But Jerry, what you see on the TV is make believe, it’s not real. Your life is your home and your loved ones, not those on the TV.
Jerry: You mean they aren’t going to come in and get us from the box?
Frances: No honey – the images you see on that box is called a TV. They are just like the pictures on the walls that don’t move. They are not real and cannot jump off the wall or out of the TV. Does that make sense?
Jerry: Are you sure?
Frances: Yes, honey, I am sure. Actually, I am positive that your family is safe, and nobody is coming out through the TV.
Jerry: You sound pretty adamant about that, so I guess I’ll just wait and see for myself.
Frances: I promise it won’t happen, but in the meantime while you wait and see, please do not attack your housemates, they are perfect as they are. Just stay loving and kind to everyone in your home, including your housemates.
Jerry: Hmmm, I guess I could do that, but I’m not going to be a sissy if something does come through that box.
Frances: I understand you are not a sissy, but you can be strong and kind at the same time. You are perfect as you are, and mom would like you to be the kind and loving cat she knows you can be. Can you do that?
Jerry: Yeah, I suppose so. I was just trying to prepare everyone in case of a problem, you know?
Frances: Yes, I understand, but you now know that isn’t going to happen, right?
Jerry: Yeah, I get it. I guess I can calm down more, right?
Frances: Yes, you can relax and play with your housemates in a kind and loving way.
Jerry: That sounds pretty good. I think I’ll try that approach. Thank you for explaining this box to me.
Frances: You’re very welcome, Jerry.

My client told me it started when her roommate would play very aggressive video games and Jerry would sit and watch. Luckily the roommate is no longer living there so they can return to being a peaceful and loving home.

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

Looking on the Sunny Side!

When I look out my window I view the desert mountains, palm trees, and the sun peering from behind those cottony looking clouds. It’s a beautiful mid-70s and I am just so blessed to be able to share with you how happy and fulfilled my life working with you and the animals makes me feel. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever picture myself in the beauty of the desert, driving with the views that I see – just going to the market. Stunning, that’s all I can say.

The simple life here for me is stress free – like the animals that speak to me. They don’t have to worry about the day-to-day work, putting food on the table, getting kids off to school on time, driving in the traffic to get to work, having the report done on time to satisfy the boss’ demands – yikes, they have it so easy. That is, the ones that are lucky enough to have pet parents like us. They always have food in their bowls, fresh water (except when the kibbles jump into the bowl), a cleanish litter box (yeah, I’m not the greatest at keeping it spotless) and a lap to snuggle on or nearby. One of my favorite things about my cats is how independent they are. They are sisters and like night and day in personalities, idiosyncrasies, likes and dislikes. Sage is the bigger, normal size cat and Ollie was the runt of the litter, so she is half of Sage’s size and a bit clumsy as well. Sage is my morning greeter as soon as my eyes flutter open – she comes to my face, and I feel her breath with my eyes still closed. I rub her face and belly, she purrs and starts my day, time to get up. The reverse happens when it is bedtime with her requiring (she’s trained me well) the face and belly rub before I am to go to sleep. Ollie on the other hand is very independent, so in the morning when I make a move, she is immediately off the bed. She waits for her canned food in the morning and during the day follows the sun. She goes from slider to slider, room to room, leaning on the glass or sitting in the sunspot wherever she can find it. Yesterday she surprised me by sitting on the headboard in the guest room in the one sunspot from the small window in the high ceiling. She knows how to find the sunny spot wherever she can find it. I like the metaphor – how about you?

For the Love of Animals,

Frances

 

💖 Love From A Grateful Client 💖

My client W, contacted me regarding her two 11+ years old cats – siblings Stuart and Sheldon. She and her partner P were overwhelmed by grief as two months ago Stuart became sick and never made it back home from the vet’s visit. Sheldon had been crying pretty much non-stop, missing Stuart so much. I have found my clients have their pets’ photos on their phone, computer and all around the home. My suggestion is to ease the length of the grieving and continual impact. For example, every time the phone rings the deceased pet’s picture glares in front of them. I relate this to a record turning and the needle digs in and digs in a little more each time. (I know – I’m dating myself for those who remember records.) My client sent me this email one week after our session and gave me permission to share it with you, my readers.

Re: Telephone Consult

Client: "Dear Frances, I hope this email finds you in good health and warm!!
I had to reach out to give you an update on our household since your intervention on 01/07/2024. As soon as we said goodbye and the call ended, I immediately changed the picture icon of Stu and Sheldon I’ve used to access YOUTUBETV at the front door.
Of course, I still “see” Stu & Sheldon at the door, but I did find the new icon I selected to be calming. I also rearranged the memory area in the kitchen which provided Sheldon with access to overhang counter top. He was again walking that counter later that evening!

Frances: I realized the crying from Sheldon was not only missing Stuart, but he wanted to speak to someone telepathically like he did with his brother as he was losing his hearing.

My client confirmed she wore hearing aids and I do find our pets take on many of our body’s weaknesses and illnesses. I instructed my client to speak to him in her thinking voice. She may not hear what he had to say back to her as I do, but it comforted him nonetheless.

Client: I also began to communicate with Sheldon telepathically within 30 minutes of the end of the phone call. I’m improving with each day I do see Sheldon responding to my “mind voice”. P is using the technique, too. In fact, she went on your website and purchased your online pet communicator class!

The greatest improvement has been Sheldon! We can’t believe the change that has occurred! He was so quiet and calm. He entered the office (that’s where our conversation occurred) after the call ended and sat in the doorway, looking back and forward between P and me. He approached me, rubbing his face and head on the legs, looking up at me without any vocalization! He then walked to P and the same interaction occurred!

We have determined that Sheldon’s crying/vocalization has been reduced by 80-90%!! It is amazing!!! You are amazing!!! The talk you had with Sheldon really changed the course of his interactions with us! I truly believe he has been relieved of the overwhelming duty and responsibility of managing all of our grief and I think at the
determent to his grief!

I cannot express the relief I have felt since the burden was lifted from me after hearing from Stu and that he was happy I made the decision I did. Two nights before I was to take him in to the vet to have an abdominal tap to withdraw fluid, we were in bed and I was talking to him. As I petted and stroked him, I promised him I would not prolong his life to make me happy. And that he could trust me. That’s when I decided the vet visit wasn’t for tapping his abdomen. As a RN, I knew the signs & symptoms of an endless treatment without cure. I told him my decision and we slept soundly.

Your special talent is amazing and the transformation of the entire household has been likewise amazing. I waited to contact you with the success to ensure the changes weren’t transient. Well, we believe the changes are permanent and we are so grateful for meeting you 10 years ago and your extraordinary talent.

We have told friends and family who have pets about your abilities. In fact, one of our friends has a parrot that has been with her for 31 years! The parrot is not doing well and I thought she might appreciate using your talents. She is seriously considering the offer.

Thank you so much!

Health and peace to you,
W & P, Sheldon and Stuart

For the Love of Animals,

Frances 

Starting Anew – Being Grateful for You

Starting Anew – Being Grateful for You

With the start of the new year, I am grateful for my clients both past and present.  I am so surprised when after many years have passed, my clients reappear with new and grateful pets that they have rescued and brought into their family.

Rescued animals start anew when they come to a new home. They don’t know where they are or how long they are going to stay. When I tell them this is their forever home, they are so relieved.  They are so grateful to have food in their stomachs, a roof over their head and the warmth of a loving home.  They have memories of days past, so good and some not so good.  I assure them that their new mom or dad loves them very much and are so happy to have them join their family home.  When they first come to a new home, they are unsure of the situation, the rules of the home and what is expected of them.  From past experiences, they may act in an odd way that seems out of place.  They tell me it is what their first mom wanted from them, so they didn’t think it was odd at all.  I let them know that their new mom would rather that they not do this behavior, but to do something specifically different so they know what is expected of them.  Once explained the “what” and “why” it makes sense to them and how in their new life they can please their new mom (or dad).  They are just truly happy to have a safe and healthy home to live in for the rest of their lives. 

Blessings to you and your family (furry, feathered, two-legged or four) in the new year and talk with you again soon.

For the Love of Animals, 

Frances

 

Resolve Issues with Love, Not Fighting

 

Hanson is a 2-1/2-year-old rescued Pug, who is blind in one eye and both of his ears are torn.  My client has had him since he was about 1 year old.  He has leash aggression but loves people and is fine off-leash. They had 3 cats before adopting Hanson and after some time, seems to be adjusting fine with them.  They say he is housebroken but continues to pee in the bedroom and office.  So, what is going on with Hanson?

Frances:  Hi Hanson – how are you?

Hanson:   I’m ok, why?

Frances:  Your mom asked me to talk with you, is that ok?

Hanson:  I guess so.  Oh, oh, what did I do wrong now? 

Frances:  Why do you think you did anything wrong? 

Hanson: Well, I know they get mad when I pee in the house, is that it?

Frances:  Now that you mention it, why do you pee in the house?

Hanson:  I guess for a couple of reasons.  First, I like getting everyone’s attention and second, it’s cold and wet out sometimes but it’s warm inside.

Frances:  Isn’t it nice to have a warm house that doesn’t smell like pee?  Is that any way to show how grateful you are for your mom and dad bringing you into their home?

Hanson:  Wow when you put it like that, I suppose I have been kind of a brat, haven’t I? 

Frances:   Yes, I would say so.  Do you know this is your forever home?

Hanson:  I hoped it would be, but I wasn’t sure.  Thank you for telling me that.  I guess I really should be nicer to them and not pee inside the house.

Frances:  Yes, I’m sure they would appreciate that very much.  When you are out on a walk, why are you so aggressive while on the leash?

Hanson:  I want everyone to stay away from my people – they need to know I will fight them off – all of them.

Frances:  In the place you were at before did you have to fight everyone off?

Hanson:  Yes, and I might be small, but I can fight pretty tough. 

Frances:  I’m sorry you had to fight for yourself before you came to this loving home.  They prefer to resolve issues with love, not fighting.  Can you consider that the other dogs and people are friends first, instead of enemies?

Hanson:  I never thought about it that way before.  I thought everyone was an enemy first – that’s what I always was taught.  You mean everyone else isn’t an enemy?

Frances:  That’s correct – consider that everyone else is a friend – unless they do something to make you think otherwise.  People, dogs and cats – they are all friends, unless they do something to make you feel uncomfortable like they want to hurt you. Can you try that?)

Hanson:  I suppose I can.  Seems like it would take less energy than always being ready for a fight. 

Frances:  Exactly, you can relax and enjoy your walks instead of being tense and ready to fight.  I think your life will have more joy and fun if you look at life this way.  What do you think?

Hanson:  I think you may be on to something.

Frances:  Good, you can practice by being nice to your housemates – the cats.  Let them be and they will let you be.  Make sense?

Hanson:  Yeah, I think it does.  Wow, what a whole new way of thinking.  Thank you for sharing that with me.

Frances:  You’re very welcome, Hanson.  Is there anything you want to tell your mom and dad?

Hanson:  Thank you for bringing me into your home.  I guess I haven’t been very nice to you in respecting your home.  I will do better.  I may need some reminders now and then.  I really do love you and thank you for all you do for me.  I like the idea of not fighting like I had to before coming to your home.  This lady told me to think of everyone as friends and I never thought like that before.  I think I can do that, too.  I guess that’s all I have to say. 

Frances: Thank you, Hanson.  I will be talking to Mom later today.  Bye for now.

Hanson:   Bye and thank you for talking to me. 

Frances:  My pleasure, Hanson.

To encourage Hanson to pee outside, realizing that the patio is a cold cement, I suggested placing a rug runner that could be hosed down and his feet won’t be cold when he steps outside.

 

For the Love of Animals,
Frances