Happy 2023!!!

You’ve probably heard of the “mean girl”.  Well, this time it is the “mean cat”.  Sally pounces at her two female feline housemates every day with no provocation.  I asked her why she does this and here is a bit of our discussion: Sally:  I can’t help it if I like to pick on them.  It’s just my nature.  I’m the mean cat. Frances:  I don’t believe that one bit, Sally.  You can make a choice.  Every minute of every day you can make a choice to be a better kitty to your housemates.  Nicer to yourself even.  You don’t have to wear the badge of the mean cat.  You are choosing to do this, and Mom needs you to change that badge.  This is hard on Mom due to her health situation, and it would benefit her and yourself to make that change.  Kelly and Lisa don’t deserve the brunt of your bullying.  They have done nothing to you to cause this.  Don’t blame them for anything that happened to you in the past.  Move on and take in the love this family has for you.  Open your heart and I bet you will be very surprised by what happens – in a good way.  What do you think?  Does this make sense to you? Sally:    I understand what you are saying.  I wish I could believe it is that simple.  I have not been able to trust anyone, people or cats, in my entire life, until now.  Mom and Dad are great, I do trust them to some extent, but I’m always waiting for the next thing to happen, to show me the good life I have now is going away.  I still have that fear, you know?   Frances:  Yes, honey, I do understand that fear.  Let me tell you what that stands for:  false evidence appearing real.  It is your mind telling you things will get worse without any evidence to back it.  You are working on old patterns that you no longer need to hold on to.  Your life today is nothing like it was before.  Look forward, and expect better and better, not worse and worse.  I know this is easy for me to say but give it a try.  You can start with minute-by-minute.  Then hour-by-hour and day-by-day.  Think of every time the sun comes up, it is another chance to make a decision to be a happy, loving, and gentle cat to show your family, human, and feline that you can do this.  I know you can do this, Sally.  I have faith in you, and I know your Mom and Dad do, too.  Does this make sense?  Can you do this? Sally:  You make it sound so simple.  I know sometimes I feel bad when I have picked on Kelly.  I don’t know Lisa well enough to know if I even like her or not.  She hisses and stuff, so I just keep doing my stuff with her.   Frances:  You do realize she does the hissing because you do your stuff to her, right? Sally:  Yeah, I guess if I stop then she probably will stop too, right?  Frances:  Yes, that is how it works.  You be nice to her, and she will learn she can be nice right back to you.  One step at a time.  Every day is a new day to practice being nice.  This is the best for all involved in your family, you do realize this, right? Sally:  Yeah, I see this now.  I guess I just have to give it a try as you say.   Frances:  Thank you, Sally.  It will get better every day, I promise.  I will be talking with mom in a little bit.  Anything you want to say to her? Sally:  Sorry for being such a mean cat to the others.  I guess I am just afraid that things will not last as good as it has been since coming to live with you.  I know now that Frances says it’s my mind saying it won’t last, I can practice being nice and accept it for what it is. I am happy with you and Dad and even the other cats.  I guess I was afraid I was being replaced with the new ones coming in.  I know I came after Kelly, but I still felt like maybe I could replace her somehow.  I don’t know, I guess my mind was doing funny stuff and I was acting on it by being mean.  I will do my best not to be mean but be nicer and nicer each day.  Wow, this sounds like a big deal, doesn’t it? I do love everyone here and want to do better, I really do.   Frances:  Thank you, Sally.  I’m sure Mom and your family will appreciate you much more when you relax and enjoy your life without fear.  I’ll be talking to Mom soon.  Bye for now. Sally:   Bye and thank you again.  This is a big step for me.   Frances:  You’re very welcome, and yes, it is indeed. For the Love of Animals, Frances

 

A recent client was fostering a 3-year-old very overweight cat.  She was not using the litter box to poo, only to pee.  This was part of our conversation:

Frances:  I understand you don’t go poo in the litter box.  Why is that?

It’s hard to clean up after myself and I don’t like licking the litter off my fur. 

Frances: I get it that you are having problems, Is it due to your size?

Yes, I’m fluffier than most cats.

Frances: Yes, but I suspect that it isn’t just fur, correct?

Yeah, I like to eat.  Hey, it’s all I got, you know?

Frances:  Well, maybe you can play around a bit to work it off?  Run after a feather on a stick, yarn ball, mice or a fluffy ball?

I suppose so, but I can’t do it alone. 

Frances:  I’ll talk with your foster mom about your activity level.  You’re so young and have such a wonderful life ahead of you.

Why do you say a wonderful life?  It hasn’t been all that great so far. 

Frances:  Ah, but that is the difference.  Your life ahead will be so much brighter, just waiting for the perfect home for you to present itself.  In the meantime, do you have any requests for your forever home.

Oh, I would love to be in a house with activity, to see people moving about so I can watch them.  I’m not really crazy about dogs or kids, they are too unpredictable, and I don’t trust them.  An older person or couple works too – I like to watch TV with them and hang out in the living area.

Frances:  Do you ever look outside to watch the birds or the critters on the ground?

I do, but since I can’t go outside, what’s the point?

Frances:  Well, there is lots of activity to watch if nobody is home to watch.

Yes, that’s true, I suppose I could do more of that to keep me busy.  I’m a bit bored and I think I eat when I’m bored.

Frances: That’s very common for people too.  We’ll see what we can do to get you more activity and maybe lose that extra fluff.  In the meantime, please use the litter box for your poo too.  It is helpful for you to be consistent and cleaner in order to find your forever home.  That’s important to you, right?

Yes, of course – I want to find a forever home.  I will do my best to poo as you say, in the litter box.

Perhaps this is a reminder for all of us not to overindulge during the holiday season.  Stay safe and enjoy your holidays.  Looking forward to a joyous and prosperous 2023!

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

 

Our health and habits are sometimes displayed by our pets – to show us what we are experiencing or what we are doing to ourselves. During a session with two cats, one of them said his mom (my human client) needed to put her feet up and be treated like a princess.  She was someone who needed to be catered to instead of her doing it all herself.  The cat felt sad that he couldn’t do this for his mom.  I later found out from my client that she had hurt her ankle and had to elevate it on a regular basis.  

Another session was with a two-month-old puppy who was being fussy with his food and potty habits.  His mom (my human client) was having difficulty sleeping through the night as he was waking her up to go outside at all hours of the night.  She was concerned he had to go potty each time, yet he just wanted to play with the night critters.  During our session we spoke of having consistent feeding times, quantity and quality of the foods, including limiting the treats for good behavior.  I suggested since his trainer was using treats as a praise method, she opts to use his regular kibble instead of the variety of treats.  He is young and his tummy is sensitive to the various types of treats.  His system needs to be trained for eating, exercising and potty times to help his tummy be regular and allow her to hopefully sleep through the night.  A few days later my client realized that not only had she been indulging her puppy with all sorts of treats, but she was also doing the same thing to herself.  This was a big awakening to her as she realized she wasn’t treating herself with healthy options and this could also have been a contributing factor to her lack of a good night’s sleep.  Our pets are our mirrors to help us learn and grow together.

Have a happy and healthy Thanksgiving to you and your furry friends.

 

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

Tuning In to Pet Behavior

 

Our pets have fears, concerns, and wants or preferences.  They have an opinion and when we talk, they can share them with me, so their wishes are heard.  I recently had a client whose Persian cat with the most beautiful hair stopped using the litter box.  There were three of them available for two cats.  When I first tuned in, she gave me many reasons why she didn’t use the boxes, mostly because she didn’t want to.  I explained how rude she was, her family took such good care with food, shelter and of course love.  She acknowledged she was being a brat and agreed to use the litter box.   A few days later my client contacted me, and I asked again why she was not using the litter box.  Finally, she said she didn’t like the litter sticking to her fur on her bottom.  I recalled from my grooming days a “sani-cut” was something we did for the long-haired cats and dogs.  The sani-cut is where we clipped the hair around the anus and back of the legs, so the hair didn’t get in the way when they were peeing or pooping.  There are reasons for their behavior, they just must be able to tell us. 

Another client’s cat was having her morning time out on the fresh dewy lawn when the tree trimmers were there early and came through the gates, unannounced.  She ran off and her mom could not find her for hours, so she called me.  I tuned in and told my client when the noises subsided, and they are gone she will return.  I saw her jump the back fence and hiding in the neighbor’s backyard watching the guys do their thing.  A few hours later she felt safe to jump back over and come home.  My client called to let me know when she returned.  Happy kitty and safe at home.

Our pets sometimes have their protests, being finicky – or it could be a way to train us too.  If they refuse to eat certain foods, maybe something better will be given to them.  Sometimes pet food formulas change, more fillers to save money.  Check the labels.  Allergies can also develop later in their life. 

Call me when you are having issues with your pet and let’s work together to resolve them.

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

 

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

Letting Go

 

Annie is an older cat who had surgery for GI cancer and follow-up chemotherapy treatments.  My client was concerned as the treatments would leave her sick for two weeks followed by a second treatment just a week later.  She was not seeing the benefits of continuing this treatment and wanted to know what Annie wanted her to do.

Frances:  Hi Annie – how are you?

Annie:  Oh, I’m okay, I guess.  I know mom is concerned about me and how I am feeling.  This isn’t easy on either of us.  I know she is doing everything she can to keep me going. Please let her know that I love her very much and appreciate all her efforts to keep me here with her.  I want her to know that it is time for me to stop the treatments and let me go on my own time.  Nothing they do is going to help keep me here forever – we all have to go some time, right?  So let me go when it comes my time, without the treatments so I will be more aware of my surroundings and not be sick from the treatments.  I’m not ready to go yet, but just know when it is my time, there will not be a question unanswered.  You did everything right, you are the best mom I could ever have had and I will always be in your heart.  Please enjoy the time we have left together without being sad or disappointed as we have had a good life together to remember. 

Frances:  Thank you, Annie.  I will be speaking with you and mom later today.

Annie:  Ok, thank you for talking with me.

Frances:  My pleasure, Annie.

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

Family Dynamics Can Affect Pets

 

My client texted me that she was worried about her boxer, Dick, as he had not eaten for two days. I tuned in and felt he was depressed. This year has been tough on my client. Her husband and Dick’s companion, another boxer named Jane had unexpectedly passed. Here is what he had to say:

Frances:  Dick – what is going on? Why won’t you eat?
I guess I’m just down, I don’t really have an appetite. I’m sad when mom is sad, I’m sad dad’s not here, I’m sad that Jane is no longer here.

Frances: (I’m sorry you’re sad. Mom can really use your energy too. She wants you to get back to your old self. This will help her too. You know it’s not like you can go back in time. Life goes on, life changes – some things we don’t have control over and some things we do. You need to eat for your health, your life energy. I know it's hot, but you need to eat and drink your water.
I know life changed, but why can’t it go back the way it was?

Frances:  Honey, some things move only forward and don’t go back. They may go forward in good ways, in better ways – some that are still to come. There is always good to come, you just haven’t seen it yet.
I guess I see what you are saying, I just want it to be easier on mom and me.

Frances:  I know honey, she is doing the best she can, and you are there to support her efforts in ways that you can. Be by her side, walk by her side, eat your food so you stay healthy and know your life will be better in time. Can you do that for mom?
Yes, I can try that. Thank you for your kind words, it does help me when we talk.

Frances:  I’m glad that I can help you along your path. Be good to yourself and to mom.
Ok thanks again.
Frances:  My pleasure, Dick.

The next morning, my client texted me: 
"Yay Dick ate this morning! He is feeling better!"  "

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

Enjoying Summertime with Furry Friends

It’s summertime, fun and travel time.  Ever wonder what your pets think about those who care for them while you are gone?  Or when they are in to get pretty or handsome at the groomers?  Recently I spoke with Fannie, a 12-year-old poodle mix.

Frances:  Your mom is concerned about leaving you with your sitters when she is gone.  Do you mind them watching you?
 Why can’t I go with mom when she leaves?  Why do I have to stay here?

Frances: Sometimes mom takes trips that dogs can’t easily go on.  She will take you when she can, but only if she can.  Do you have a preference of your sitters Dick and Jane? [not their real names]
I like when Dick comes because he sits with me for a while.  He lets me do what I want and gives me treats.  We go outside when it isn’t too hot, and he doesn’t get mad if I pee in the house.  Jane is fussier.  She doesn’t like to clean after me and my messes.  She makes me go outside when it’s hot and doesn’t pay attention to how hot the ground is.  Sometimes I feel like my pads are burning but she doesn’t seem to notice as she is looking at the thing in her hand the whole time.

Frances:  (I think she is pre-occupied with her phone.)

I shared this with my client, and she confirmed that Dick is a bit older and does like sit around, not that mobile and gives Fannie treats.  Jane is a younger woman who is always on her phone.  One time Fannie threw up and she called my client in hysterics that she had to clean it up.  Whoopsie, guess we know Fannie’s preference.

My client also asked about the groomer as she was very stressed when she was in the car knowing she was going to the groomers.  Fannie told me she didn’t know who would be doing her grooming, some are not as careful or nice as others.  This stressed her out.  Their previous groomer was no longer available so she is now looking for a quieter situation, single groomer so Fannie will know who is taking care of her needs.

Frances:  Would you like to play with other dogs?
Not really, I’m good on my own.  I’m not really much of a “dog” dog, I like people better.  

Frances:  I understand that, Fannie – I tend to like dogs more than some people, too.

Enjoy your summertime with your pets and watch out for the hot surfaces when walking outside and please never leave them in the car unattended even for a few minutes.

For the Love of Animals,
Frances