Family Dynamics Can Affect Pets

 

My client texted me that she was worried about her boxer, Dick, as he had not eaten for two days. I tuned in and felt he was depressed. This year has been tough on my client. Her husband and Dick’s companion, another boxer named Jane had unexpectedly passed. Here is what he had to say:

Frances:  Dick – what is going on? Why won’t you eat?
I guess I’m just down, I don’t really have an appetite. I’m sad when mom is sad, I’m sad dad’s not here, I’m sad that Jane is no longer here.

Frances: (I’m sorry you’re sad. Mom can really use your energy too. She wants you to get back to your old self. This will help her too. You know it’s not like you can go back in time. Life goes on, life changes – some things we don’t have control over and some things we do. You need to eat for your health, your life energy. I know it's hot, but you need to eat and drink your water.
I know life changed, but why can’t it go back the way it was?

Frances:  Honey, some things move only forward and don’t go back. They may go forward in good ways, in better ways – some that are still to come. There is always good to come, you just haven’t seen it yet.
I guess I see what you are saying, I just want it to be easier on mom and me.

Frances:  I know honey, she is doing the best she can, and you are there to support her efforts in ways that you can. Be by her side, walk by her side, eat your food so you stay healthy and know your life will be better in time. Can you do that for mom?
Yes, I can try that. Thank you for your kind words, it does help me when we talk.

Frances:  I’m glad that I can help you along your path. Be good to yourself and to mom.
Ok thanks again.
Frances:  My pleasure, Dick.

The next morning, my client texted me: 
"Yay Dick ate this morning! He is feeling better!"  "

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

Enjoying Summertime with Furry Friends

It’s summertime, fun and travel time.  Ever wonder what your pets think about those who care for them while you are gone?  Or when they are in to get pretty or handsome at the groomers?  Recently I spoke with Fannie, a 12-year-old poodle mix.

Frances:  Your mom is concerned about leaving you with your sitters when she is gone.  Do you mind them watching you?
 Why can’t I go with mom when she leaves?  Why do I have to stay here?

Frances: Sometimes mom takes trips that dogs can’t easily go on.  She will take you when she can, but only if she can.  Do you have a preference of your sitters Dick and Jane? [not their real names]
I like when Dick comes because he sits with me for a while.  He lets me do what I want and gives me treats.  We go outside when it isn’t too hot, and he doesn’t get mad if I pee in the house.  Jane is fussier.  She doesn’t like to clean after me and my messes.  She makes me go outside when it’s hot and doesn’t pay attention to how hot the ground is.  Sometimes I feel like my pads are burning but she doesn’t seem to notice as she is looking at the thing in her hand the whole time.

Frances:  (I think she is pre-occupied with her phone.)

I shared this with my client, and she confirmed that Dick is a bit older and does like sit around, not that mobile and gives Fannie treats.  Jane is a younger woman who is always on her phone.  One time Fannie threw up and she called my client in hysterics that she had to clean it up.  Whoopsie, guess we know Fannie’s preference.

My client also asked about the groomer as she was very stressed when she was in the car knowing she was going to the groomers.  Fannie told me she didn’t know who would be doing her grooming, some are not as careful or nice as others.  This stressed her out.  Their previous groomer was no longer available so she is now looking for a quieter situation, single groomer so Fannie will know who is taking care of her needs.

Frances:  Would you like to play with other dogs?
Not really, I’m good on my own.  I’m not really much of a “dog” dog, I like people better.  

Frances:  I understand that, Fannie – I tend to like dogs more than some people, too.

Enjoy your summertime with your pets and watch out for the hot surfaces when walking outside and please never leave them in the car unattended even for a few minutes.

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

 

Enjoy Your Furry Friends

 

Last week I had an animal communication session with a cat who was near the end of his time here. 

When I asked him what he wanted he replied: 

“Sometimes I think it would be easier to not be here anymore, but I do enjoy mom’s love and attention.  I am still able to eat and enjoy that quite a bit.  If I ever stop eating that is a clear sign I don’t want to continue and please help me along to my exit.”

My client laughed and said as a treat for him she would feed him his favorite cat food, the less expensive but tasty ones.  Food is one of their favorite things in life – love and a roof over their heads follow closely behind. 

Years ago, I had a client who wanted to know if her dog Lucky who was deaf and blind, was ready to go to heaven.  I asked him and he said, “No, the food is too good.”  Little did I know she had specially marked meat in the freezer with his name on it.

Enjoy your furry friends all the time you have with them as they pack a lot of love in that short time with you.  

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

Summer is Near - Traveling with Pets?

As things feel like they are returning to normal, at least a new normal, going out and enjoying new adventures are in order.  With the sunny summer travels approaching, it’s so important to remember our furry four-legged friends.  When you take them on your car ride adventures, please consider their safety.  We use seat belts, and they should too for their safety as well.   Like children, sitting on your lap with the car moving, whether you are the driver or the passenger – is not safe if you have to stop short or God forbid, were in an accident.  

If you have a smaller size pet, consider the basket type where they can see out the window while being safely strapped in.  There are other strapping devices for larger pets who may sit in the back seat with the window cracked open for their nose to stick out (I just love seeing the wind blowing in their face and the hair blowing back).  Please be careful not to have the window open too much so they don’t fall out.  If your pet rides in the back bed of the truck – please consider harnessing them in with more than a single leash connected to their collar.  (I don’t want to think what can happen should they try to jump out).  Have fun, enjoy the new adventures of this phase for you and your pet’s life.

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

 

Pets are Like Children

Our pets are like children, they watch us and sometimes their brains don’t understand all the complexities about adults. When we are affectionate to our partner we may have sounds or actions that can sound or look like we are being hurt. We know this isn’t the case, but to a pet or a child, this can be very scary. They may be in protection mode or run and hide. If they can do that to him or her, what will happen to me? I’m so small, who’s going to protect me? Who can I trust? Best they are not placed in this situation when they are young or if a relationship is in the early stages. Pets get very confused about who they can trust, and this can then be projected to others who they thought they could trust. Assure them your partner is a good person by including them in quiet times, walks, throwing the ball and words – yes, they do understand your words. 

 You may not hear their responses like I do but be assured they understand your words and your kindness. You are all they have – be kind. 

For the Love of Animals, 

Frances

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

When couples decide to go their separate ways, they can talk it over – sometimes calmly, sometimes not – but what do the pets go through?  How do they know what is going on when their mom and dad go to different corners?  Why aren’t they together?  What did we do to cause this?  Pets (as well as young children) don’t understand the complexity of relationships, nor should they necessarily need to know all the details.  They just want to know “what about me”? 

I recently spoke with a client going through this very situation and she asked me to speak with her two dogs, Sarge and Little Man – two male greyhounds, 7 and 5 years old respectively.  Sarge is the strong stoic one who doesn’t show much emotion.  Little Man is the sensitive guy who shows his concerns very vocally.

Frances:  Mom and dad are not going to live together and mom will be living someplace else.  It’s nothing you two did to cause this, it is something that humans sometimes go through.  Does that make sense to you?

Sarge:  Yes, but what about us? 
Frances:  That’s what I want to talk to you each about individually ok?
Sarge:  Yeah, I guess so, but we will listen to each other too. 
Frances:  That is perfect.  So Little Man I want to start with you, ok?

Little Man:  Ok – but am I staying with dad or mom?
Frances:  Which would you like to stay with?
Little Man:  If I stay with mom, will I never see dad or if I stay with dad, will I never see mom? 
Frances:  You tell me what you would like, that’s why I am talking with you.
Little Man:  I love dad but I’m more close with mom – she understands me when I get scared and she knows how to comfort me.  I know dad loves me, but mom understands me more.  I don’t want to hurt dad’s feelings and I will miss Sarge, but I really want to be with mom.
Frances:  Thank you, Little Man, I know that is hard to say to me and I appreciate you telling me your feelings.  In case it happens where dad wants you to stay with him, will you be ok with that?
Little Man:  Yes, of course, I know he loves me and I love him too. 
Frances:  Would you want to visit with mom or dad depending on who you stay with?
Little Man:  I would as long as it isn’t hurtful to either one to see each other.
Frances:  Little Man, you are so considerate of their feelings – I’m so honored to be talking with you.  You are much more mature than many humans, do you know that?
Little Man:  Well, I never really thought about that, I just know being kind and loving is all I know, I’m very blessed. 
Frances:  Yes, you certainly are blessed with two loving people who care for you very much.  Anything you want to tell mom and dad?
Little Man: Please tell mom and dad I love them both very much and I’m sorry you are going through this situation.  I am grateful for you choosing me to be in your family and will always remember the good times.  Whatever happens I want you both to be happy and I will be happy with whatever you decide.
Frances:  Thank you, Little Man. Sarge it’s your turn.

Sarge:  Ok I’m ready, so you want to know what I want?
Frances:  Yes, please share what you would like.
Sarge:  I would like to stay with dad since we were together longer, I feel he is my person.  I understand Little Man wanting to be with mom, they really did bond from the beginning.  Dad will be ok with sharing him with mom – I think so anyway.  I’m sorry they have to go their separate ways, but whatever makes them happy.  Dad and I have been on our own before, so we’ll be fine.
Frances:  Would you be ok if Little Man stayed, and mom left?  Can you be the head of the household to protect everyone?
Sarge:   I do that now, no big deal here.  I love mom and all, but I realize things don’t always last forever – I just want them happy.  I want everyone to be happy.
Frances:  Thank you, Sarge.  Is there anything that mom can do to make it easier on you?
Sarge:  Mom is great – she is always thinking about others.  I would like her to take care of herself, eat better and let’s get out and walk more.  She has been so concerned about others, she forgets to ask what she wants, what would make her happy?
Frances:  Sarge, you are so caring and loving of your mom and dad – but especially mom – I think you are right on target with your suggestions to mom.  Anything you would like to say to mom and dad?
Sarge:  Thank you for the time we’ve had together.  I love you both and understand things happen in the human world that we don’t really understand, but you are both such good people.  I just want both of you to be happy and if going your separate ways does that, so be it.  I love and always will, regardless of who lives with who.  
Frances:  Thank you, Sarge for your kind words.  I will be talking with mom shortly and we can talk more then.  Bye for now.

Both:  Bye – thank you for talking with us. 
Frances:  You’re both very welcome.

For the Love of Animals,
Frances

 

Happy Valentine's Day!

With the changes in our work situation over the last two years, our pets have gotten pretty spoiled having us around 24/7.  Now that many are going back to work or school, the pets don’t understand why we aren’t there to be with them as much anymore.  They like all the attention, affection and let’s face it – snacks to keep them occupied while we tried our best to be productive on the computer, zooming with the boss, teaching a class.  They just seem to say: What about me? I’m here, I’m cute, I’m bored…. I’m, I’m, I’m.  Yes, very self-centered – it’s all about me.

I had a recent client session with her cat, Kizzy, who normally was just perfect with the litter box.  Suddenly she pooped on the home office Persian carpet – in front of her son, yes – not hiding it or sneaking in, nope, very deliberately.  And then it happened again – no accident, so what’s up with that?

Can you tell me why you pooped on the Persian carpet?
Ha – got their attention, didn’t I?  Nobody is around like they used to be, they just leave us here by ourselves.  Why can’t I go anyplace besides the vet?  Why are they leaving so much?

Ok, so you are feeling neglected, really?  You have clean litter boxes, good food, a roof over your head and this is how you are showing your appreciation?
Well, when you put it that way, I guess I am a bit harsh. 

Yes, ungrateful I would call it.  The world outside of your house has been going through a time when most people had to stay home.  That’s why your mom and dad were home most of the time.  Now the world is safer, and people can be out and about.  This is true for your mom and dad.  Dad is on a business trip and will return on Sunday – two times the sun goes down.  Mom has returned to her school schedule.  Does this make sense to you?
Yeah, I can see when they were here a lot – I really liked that.  I could be by there side all day long.  I miss that but I guess they didn’t want to do that as much as I did.

They love you to be by their side when they are there, but not whine about them not being there or poop on the rug.
Please tell them I’m sorry to upset them.  I guess I didn’t know how to tell them that I miss them being there as much as they had been. I know I can’t go places with them, I just love them so much and want them near me as much as possible.

Thank you, Kizzy – I will be talking with mom soon.
Thank you for talking with me.

You’re very welcome, Kizzy.

For the Love of Animals,
Frances